Financial responsibility. Also something else as far as character.  You have got to check the boring component.  (Laughter)  Dating is so unrealistic, you wear the best clothes, the best cologne, the best perfume, if you are a girl, and then you go to great restaurants and you have wonderful times, the parties, the engagement, the wedding, the exotic honeymoon.  You get back from the honeymoon, vengeance, reality, the mundane, cooking, sewing, lawn mowing, work, routine sex and if you are not careful, if you are not careful, you will look at this person and say, “I’ve married a boring man”, or “I’ve married a boring woman.”

I went to high school with a friend of mine who had a vital character quality but he made a major mistake.  He married, yes, a Christian but this girl, you are talking about boring, she has robbed the guy and now he is content to live his life on the plains of boredom.  (Illustration of riding a horse on the plains and singing, “I’m here on the plains of boredom, yeah.”)  (Laughter)  And I am saying, what’s wrong with you.  And then I think about who he married.  So what am I saying.  You have got to have depth of character to keep the relationship out there on the edge, to be visionary, to be changing, to be doing fun things together.  Does this person you are thinking about have that depth of character?  He or she better.

Let’s now jump down to our final checkpoint.  The time checkpoint, that’s right, old time.  I have one word, it is a four letter word, it begins with an S, that I am going to give you as counsel.  You might have missed every single thing I have said but don’t miss this.

He shared that one of his female employees told him that eleven years ago, because of her drug addiction, she posed as a prostitute and would lure men into secluded areas where her boyfriend would be waiting.  They attacked six different men before being arrested and sent to prison.  After going to prison, this lady shared that she gave her life to Christ and joined Alcoholics Anonymous.

My friend, when he heard this, recognized that I was one of her victims and he called me.  Since then, I have spoken to, and ultimately met, this lady and she told me how her life had been permanently changed in miraculous ways.  As I listened to her story, I became ashamed and jealous that, while she had turned her life around, I was still deep in my addiction.

The next day, I went on the Internet and found Sex Addicts Anonymous.  Simultaneously, I ratcheted up my attendance at Fellowship and prayed with you to turn my life over to Christ.  While my relationship with God is still developing, I no longer doubt his word and know that I can’t live life on my own terms.  It’s still challenging for me to release my self will and turn things over to him, but I am making progress.

Ed Young – Fellowship and your teachings have touched my life and the lives of many friends who I have asked to join me.  I want to thank you for providing me a safe environment to worship and grow in my faith even though I am far from perfect.  I felt that the church had no place for someone as unworthy as me and I felt that I should clean up my house before I turned my life over to Christ.  I only recently learned that I had it backwards.

Speaking of hope, a gentleman wrote me a letter that impacted me greatly a couple of days ago.  I have his permission to read it:

[Ed has the letter with him and reads it to the audience]

“Dear Ed, I’m hesitant to write to you about something so deeply shameful to me but I feel that I am being led to do so.  Your upcoming series on lust will be especially relevant for me and I want to share my story and experiences with you.  It’s my battle with lust that ultimately led me to become a Christ-follower this past January at Fellowship.  While I’ve been involved in many disconcerting things over the years — pornography, voyeurism, adult book stores, massage parlors, strip bars, escorts, street prostitution, date lines, chat rooms and anonymous sex — my largest battle has been with prostitution.

Eleven years ago, I was set up by a girl posing as a prostitute and was mugged by the girl’s boyfriend.  I drove myself to the hospital where I was hospitalized for nine days due to my injuries.  I am writing to you because I believe you recognize how insidious and challenging this addiction is.  What should have been a sufficient intervention eleven years ago did nothing to lessen the grip that lust had on my life.  Instead, my addiction only progressed from that point forward.  I became hopeless, lost, afraid and certain that I would never break free of the bonds of my addiction.  I received a glimmer of hope, though, this past January.  You are not going to believe this.

Ed Young – In January, I received a call from my best friend who was the only person I trusted enough to tell what was really going on when I got mugged eleven years ago.

Do you know what I am saying to you?  Right now, you are in an adulterous relationship.  Or, maybe you are flirting with it — those long lingering lunches with that attractive co-worker, those conversations.  And you are believing the lies of lust.  Next weekend we are going to talk about the lies of lust, because lust is something that will lie to you like, “Man, if you would have met her before you met your wife, things would be different.  She could do stuff for you that your wife can’t and she understands you.  You deserve it and no one will know.”

People right now are listening to that and you are turning it over and over on the rotisserie grill of your mind.  You have put skin onto your lust.

Let’s Be Candid

Let me say something right upfront that we need to understand.  Let me make several statements in an introductory fashion, because I want you to know my heart and my spirit when I talk to you about this subject matter.

Statement number one — I’m going to talk about lust in a very candid, straightforward and biblical manner.  The Bible has some wonderful things about lust and we are going to talk about what it says.  This is not my opinion.  This is not what I think or we think at Fellowship Church.  This is what the Bible says.

Number two — the underlying theme of this entire series is hope.  That’s what is so amazing about Scripture.  We are sinners.  We are a colossal collection of moral foul-ups.  Yet, we serve a God who gives us the good news of hope, and we are going to talk about hope.

Ed Young – I don’t care where you are, I don’t care what level of lust you find yourself, you can walk in purity and holiness and righteousness.  You can do it, not by your own strength, but by His strength.  But, also, we have to know some things and apply some things.

In a crowd this size, I know some of you are dealing with different levels of lust.  For example, when I said I was going to talk about lust several weeks ago, some of you probably broke out into a cold sweat because you have this secret life that no one knows about.  You are kind of freaked out about being found out.  Others here are more “recreational” lusters.  Do you know what I am talking about?

You say, “Man, what’s the big deal about lust?  Boys will be boys.  I can check out the menu but I don’t have to order, you know?  If I see a good-looking girl, I’m looking at her from the neck down.  That’s just the way it is, brother.”

Maybe you are into a “thinking man’s pornography” — Victoria’s Secret, Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Addiction.  Addiction… that’s true.  I meant to say “Edition.”  That was a great slip, wasn’t it?  That was from God, there.  There’s no doubt.  Maybe you like to watch Wild on E! and all this stuff.

You see, recreational lusting seems benign.  It seems like no big deal.  It’s just your little “thing.”  You’re not hurting anybody.  But recreational lusting segues into deeper forms.  Most people here, most men in particular, are at this “recreational” level.  You frequent Gentlemen’s Clubs.  You find yourself now and then pursuing porn on the internet.  When you travel, you are ordering the adult movies.  Maybe you order them at home in the privacy of your bedroom.  Whatever the case may be, some of you are into that level.

Ed Young – Others here are lusting in a different way.  You have moved from Victoria’s Secret or Sports Illustrated Edition.  You have moved from watching the stuff on television.  You have moved from adult movies and you have actually put skin on to your lust.